Warm December Thoughts Over Coffee

This morning, I met with Sal, a woman with whom I used to pray every week. Through a series of unlikely circumstance,  I found myself hurtling along an unstoppable trajectory, unable to maintain our connection. She had been scheduled for heart surgery and I was heartbroken about it not being available to her, especially since she had been so there for me during the loss of my father.

I hoped at some point to be able to redeem myself.  And explain. .. I saw her over the weekend, and she smiled at me so graciously. We traded information and promised to call in a few days. On the phone when she wanted to get together, I counted it my first Christmas blessing of the season.

A cherry picker sat in the middle of Westerville Road, where city workers were hanging a Christmas star between Old Bag of Nails and Heavenly Cup Espresso.  Reminding me of the group of people I was running with ten years ago, how all of us have transitioned in and out of relationships and moved to other cities, circles or states. And how so few of the people I knew then are even nearby now.

 I‘ve been thinking— for a while— that it’s getting to be time to follow a new star; That my orbit here has been completed in so many ways.  I want to start over somewhere else, even thought it has been a huge comfort to have a network of people to fall back on. Currently,  I’m blessed with a new set of solid friends,  a great job, a church family and great co workers.

I keep thinking that when it’s time to move again (because in case you missed that last memo, I hate moving) the Lord would draw me to that next place. It’s too early to say definitively where that is. I know some places I’d like to go… Warmer had always appealed to me. But He has to work out the logisitics.

Driving further down the street,  I noticed Christmas wreaths hanging from lampposts, and the light bulbs appearing as flames for a trio of candles set inside each one. It will be beautiful in uptown when that first snow falls. I think how wonderful it would be to walk with a loved one, window shopping while snow falls softly from a dove grey sky.  Little fir trees with gleaming glass bulbs and sparkling garlands practically beg to be dusted with white ice crystals.  Lately, I long for rows of luminarias lining walks and adobe walls and wish I could be strolling in the deep Southwest at least once for Christmas.

Sal asks me what I was doing for the holidays?  I don’t really know.

 I think I just want to be warm, share time with people who matter; people I love who love me. I don’t care about gifts so much… although it  always make my heart happy to see something wrapped and my name on a little paper tag. One dear friend always puts little miniature somethings on his gift, little tiny toys, or icons and then the tag is also a gift.

I want the experiences of true holiday spirit; to be in a position to give, getting a chance to share time and a meal. Hugging and being hugged. Having a cup of cheer with long time friends. I suppose I’d like to be kissed under the mistletoe and sharing some of the best memories.

Because on those cold winter nights, when hoary frost creeps across your window panes and the city lights are blinking through the leafless  tree bones, one can be warmed by remembering good times with friends and laughter shared.

Wherever you happen to be this Christmas season, I hope you are loved, or loving well. I hope you remember that it’s not the gift so much as how you make that other person feel. Remember those who mean the most to you and make sure you let them know how much they mean to you. None of us really know how many Christmases we get. One of the best gifts you can give to yourself and them, is to make each one count.